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Welcome To Falarious

Hi. Welcome to Falarious. Here you will find funny sex stories and videos. If you want to read only the stories, click here. If you want to see only the videos, click here, if you want a little bit of both, just scroll down! If you have a funny sex story of your own, submit it here. Thanks, have fun!

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The Unholy French Kiss

When I was around 11 years old, I’ve been curious about how adults kiss on TVs and movies. A friend say that they kiss by slipping their tongue inside there mouth while they kiss. And I was kind of disgusted by it, but compelled to try. My mom was the type to kiss her kids on the lips while she put me and my little sis in bed, so when she tuck me in and kissed me, i slipped my tongue out, and my mom freaked out and pulled back. She said to me that I can’t do that, but in the next couple of nights, I would always stick out my tongue when she kissed me, and my mom always pulled away. Finally, when she kissed me again, I stick out my tongue into her mouth, and this time she didn’t pull away, she ACTUALLY moved her tongue and our tongue kinda played with each other for 5 seconds. My mom then blushed and told me not to tell anyone or else she would never do it again. I agreed, and for around 3 years, we have been french kissing ever since. Even as far as a 10 minute making out session in bed and even when we’re home alone together. It stopped, but I really missed those days.

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That Awkward Moment When…

When I first started using a flogger on my partner, I accidentally whacked him across the face… Whoops. When we first tried using candle wax, I burned him. He has a little scar on his chest now. I feel so abusive. He laughs every time it’s brought up. Just about every experiment we’ve had together has been hilariously awkward.

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Who wants noodles?

So, I’m a guy. A female friend of mine came to visit me in the middle of the night with a girl she had recently met (and for added spice worked at a sex-hotline). They wanted to crash my place for a couple of hours to wait for their ride out of town. They had woken me up so I just sat on my bed chatting with them. My friend came to sit on the bed with me and, before long, there was touching. The other girl was using my computer at the time. Things got pretty heated and after a while the friend saw what was happening and came to join the fun. That’s when it turned bad. The thought that this fantasy of every guy might be coming true hit me like a ton of bricks and … I don’t know. I panicked.

I sat up and said: “I’m making noodles. Who wants noodles?” I jumped off the bed and walked straight to the kitchen, feeling their “What the SHIT!?” looks on my back. Then I just stood in the kitchen looking at nothing and ended up making noodles with added tears. They left soon after.

I still sob a little when I think about this.

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A Dirty Blowjob

I once fell down a hill, all because I was trying to give a blow job. This happened when I was in high school, blow jobs were about as far as I had gotten sexually, and I was REALLY awkward about anything sexual. Also, it was in a time before I had a car or a place of my own, so my boyfriend and I would go to the woods to hang out and fool around. Well, we were standing in the woods at the top of a small hill and I tried to kneel. I stumbled, and started somersaulting backwards down the hill. And he started chasing me with his pants around his ankles. By the time I got to the bottom, I was covered in dirt, twigs, and leaves. This did not help my sexual awkwardness. Not one bit.

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He Came In My Arms

In college we had a dorm meeting downstairs to introduce some new residents. This girl was a firecracker to say the least and after the meeting I knew she was going to fit in well with our group of friends so I invited her to play cards with a few folks. After a few rounds she suggested changing the game to strip poker, so we headed up to my room, which was the hangout room.

So, two ladies, myself and 3 other men (4 men, 2 ladies) headed up to our room to play strip poker. As soon as we landed on the beds, because there was no where else to sit, the cards were forgotten and a make out/clothes on orgy thing happened.

Imagine, if you will, a man(roommate) kneeling betwixt the legs of new girl eating her out while she was sitting between my legs with her back to me. I was fondling her and playing DJ for mood music. Another guy was sitting to my right and the last lady and and man were doing their thing to his right.

Now it’s important to note that the dude to my right was a HUGE asshole, but he was the first friend my roommate and I made at college so he still hung out with us.

So the asshole was sitting between the couple going at it and the weird 3 some thing going on when, as I would find out later, both the ladies who had a crush on him, simultaneously went to give him a handjob because they felt bad for him not getting any action.

One of the ladies won out and got to do the deed. As the jerk came it kind of quieted the room down as he was the only person to reach a climax. In his ecstasy he slumped to the side and sort of landed on me. It was an awkward position so I put my arm around him. As the room lay in quiet, everyone basking in our mutual afterglow I said in a clear voice, “I bet you never thought a man would be holding you while that happened eh?”

For the rest of my time at college whenever this douche started to get out of line I would just start to tell the story of how he came in my arms and all of a sudden, he wasn’t such a jerk anymore!

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Passed Out Sex

When I was about 22, I went out with a group of female friends and one other guy. The girls thought it would be a great idea to head to a lesbian bar which was notorious for giving shitty service to men and m/f couples.

After about an hour of mean looks and no drinks, I decide to bail and pick up a 12 pack on the way home. No sooner than I get home and crack open a beer, one of the girls calls me and says that another one of the girls was starting shit and that I needed to come pick her up.

I run and get her and we head back to my place where we proceed to get drunk and argue politics. After a while I decide that I’m tired and go to bed. She follows me in to my room and hops on my computer. After a few minutes of looking around, she finds my porn and starts watching it while I’m trying to pass out.

After about 10 minutes I pull her in to bed and we start going at it. The sex was amazing, but I passed out. I don’t know how long I was out, but when I came to, she was still riding me. When we finally finish she realizes it’s now daylight outside and bolts.

Fast forward to St. Patty’s Day a month later and we’re hammered at a bar and I start telling the story and I get to the point where I passed out. She apparently didn’t know this, freaks out and throws a gin and tonic in my face and leaves.

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How to Find a Sex Partner Near Me

A lot of guys think that finding a sex partner or fuck buddy online is the easiest thing in the world. After all, they have seen all sorts of stereotypes on TV and the movies regarding the “little black book”. Well, I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, but there’s a big difference between a little black book and finding a fuckbuddy online . I would even venture to argue that there are so completely different that they really don’t deserve to be put next to each other.

A little black book really is just a list of easy pussy. That’s what it is. I mean any guy who has any decent level of game would have a short list of women he’s either fucked in the past or who has given clear indications that she wants to fuck him. Anybody can get that going. Even if you have a hunched back and your face looks like a fucked up pizza, if you have enough self-confidence and you really can focus on a goal you can get laid. So anybody can put together a little black book. It’s like a list of easy pussy. You just open the book, call the chick, lay down some bullshit and get down to business.

An adult friends list, sex partner list, fuckbuddy list or whatever you want to call it, on the other hand, is very different. It’s, first and foremost, a list of friends. These are friends that you can hang out with. These are friends you can call over for drinks. These are friends who can call you if you’re feeling down or who you can call to consult. In other words, they are friends first. What confuses many guys is that there is a sexual element. But I’m telling you right now, the older you get and also the more emotionally mature you become, the sexual action part becomes less and less important. You cherish the friendship more strongly overtime. Unless you specifically go for fuckbuddy sites like https://www.findafuckbuddy.net/

This happens naturally because your priorities change overtime. You’re becoming an older person, you’re becoming a more mature person. Things that used to get your dick hard no longer does. In fact, many of them just makes you laugh nowadays. It doesn’t mean that you’re getting weaker. It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your sex drive. It just means that your priorities have changed and the great thing about an adult friends list is that these people change with you. So these women that used to be hot, young, college-aged vixens they turn into older, mature moms who are very loving, gentle and can give a great blowjob if you’re both in the mood. Do you see where I’m coming from? So you need to treat your adult friends list with a high degree of sensitivity and focus primarily on the friendship element.

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