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Category: Sex Stories

Eww

Just finished sexin’ and took off condom and put on floor (in some tissue). We were cooling off and she noticed that her dog had got to the condom and lapped up almost all the cum. I laughed a lot. She did too after a bit.

Dick Stick Shift

One morning after we were taking our time getting out of bed, and were naked from the night before. I sat on top of him for a bit, and eventually I started casually playing with his dick. After a few minutes I was suddenly inspired to grab it like a stick shift and start changing gears, complete with car noises. First, second, third, fourth, fifth; then, I shifted it into reverse and made car crash noises. Thankfully he found it really, really funny.

Bullet Vibrator

Having really good sex, the small bullet vibrator we were using somehow made its way further in than it was supposed to and got stuck. Took about 30 minutes to fish it back out. It was on the entire time.

The Eating Out Incident

My wife wanted to recreate a video she saw online, where a guy picks this girl up above his head, sits her on his face, and eats her out. I’m a weight lifter and she’s tiny, so it wasn’t really too hard for me. We get down to it, I get her into position and brace her against the wall because no way can I hold her for the entire time. As she gets close to coming, I lift her up off the wall, take a step back, and well…14 years of college between the two of us and we couldn’t figure out that it was a bad idea to try that in a room with a ceiling fan.

She was fine, it caught her on the shoulder and she fell right onto the couch, but we were both laughing too hard to continue any time soon.

Milk Squirt

The first time I had sex after giving birth my partner made me cum and I shot breast milk into his face. No one ever warned me that could happen. I was mortified, he thought it was the coolest thing since squirt guns.

A Hairy Situation

Had my hair tied in a bun, with a hair band with fake hair on it wrapped around to make my hair seem longer.

The guy I was with thought it would be a good idea to grab my hair whilst we were doing it and got a bit of a shock when it just fell off in his hand. When I say ‘bit of a shock’ I mean he yelled ‘Arghhhh, what the hell?!’ and threw it across the room whilst I almost died with laughter.

Fucking Kids

Me and my girlfriend were fucking in our apartment’s gym showers, and an old lady came into the room. We were in a stall, but we still freaked out, and we both slipped, and I came at that exact moment, and it shot into my girlfriend’s ear and onto the shower nozzle, which caused my cum to spray all over the place and mix in with the blood that was coming from the back of my head. Both my and my girlfriend’s clothes were outside of the stall, and the old lady was standing outside. We started laughing our asses off, and then our clothes were just chucked over the door on top of us, and the lady shouted from the other side, ‘Fucking kids.’

Nose Discharge

This probably isn’t the most embarrassing, but I know I will never forget the time I swallowed and there was so much semen that it came out of my nose. Ugh that was such a weird feeling. At least he didn’t notice.

Grabbing the Sack

When our son was around crawling/pulling up age, hubby and I were going at it on the couch. Our couch is fairly low to the ground, so the kiddo decided that right then was as good as any time to climb up on the couch. He jerked the blanket off, grabbed his dad’s ball sack, and promptly fell off the couch, balls still in hand.

Nose Ring

I was making out with a guy, pre-sex, hot and heavy, and my nose ring fell out and went in his mouth. I laughed for about 10 minutes and then we just continued on. It was the funniest thing and I am still laughing about it.