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Falarious.com Posts

Period Sex…Eww

My girlfriend wanted period sex. I was hesitant since I wasn’t too horned up, but she needed it bad evidently. So I caved. She got on top and started riding. It was literally less than a minute before she came. I didn’t finish. When she lifted off of me, I could sense my rig was soaked…but a different kind of soaked. Then I felt two heavy drips of fluid on my belly as she climbed off. The room was pretty dark so I walk to the bathroom. It was like a scene in a horror movie. My cock looked like it was used as a knife and my belly was dripping with blood. I had to hose down in the shower like a rape victim. My bedding was a mess too. I will NEVER do it during her period ever again. I don’t care how much she needs it. The bedding is in the washing machine now. Thank god for the steam cycle.

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Backseat Naked

Me and my boyfriend at the time parked his SUV in the back of our local movie theater parking lot. Seemed ideal, since no one would question a car being parked there for a while late at night. As we started getting busy in the back we noticed a car pull up and park a few spots away from us. We thought it was weird and just watched this car for a few minutes. At first no one got out, but after a bit a man stepped out of the car and started shining a flashlight in our direction, and it looked like he was holding a gun or a knife in the other hand. We ducked down to the floorboards, starting to panic. I started freaking out and scream-whispering at my boyfriend that we had to leave, but he didn’t have a shirt on and I was basically naked. As we contemplated how to get out of this situation, the man started slowly walking toward our car! At that point, I screamed, and my boyfriend jumped into the front seat, started the car, and sped out of the parking lot, leaving me literally rolling around on the floor of the backseat naked. After we drove a few miles away, we stopped and got dressed and shared some nervous laughter about the whole thing, and no harm was done other than a few bruises I sustained in our daring escape. I’m still good friends with this guy and we still laugh about the time we thought we were about to be the victims in a real-life slasher film.

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Cockblocked By Stoners

My boyfriend and I decided to have sex in college around the side of the building, where the stoners usually go. We were in the middle of having sex on a bench when these guys came toward us to smoke. They saw us mid-intercourse and didn’t turn around or anything, they just kept coming toward the spot. We were in doggy-style on the bench with pants around our ankles, so it was totally obvious what we were doing and that they saw us! Guess they really wanted to get high there. We didn’t even get to finish and got cockblocked by stoners.

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He Walked In And Took A Shit

I was hooking up with a football player in the bathroom of a usually desolated building. While I was going down on him, a guy walked in. I assumed he would pee and leave but nope, he didn’t. Instead, he went into the stall right next to us and took a shit. Then after he left, we started having doggy-style sex, and a guy walked in, stood in front of the mirror, and then left. He was looking at our reflection through the crack in the stall! We walked out smooth as ever.

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The Wrong Hole

My first boyfriend and I were both virgins. He was trying to use his finger down there and accidentally stuck it in the wrong hole. It lasted all of two seconds, but I lost it. I died laughing, and he was completely mortified. In fact, just remembering it right now has me cracking up

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My First Time…With You!

My boyfriend and I finally decided to do it after having multiple talks about making sure the first time would be special. Afterward, I mused ‘I can’t believe I’m not a virgin anymore,’ and he freaked out! Turns out, he thought we had been talking about having our first time together. He kept asking ‘Did I hurt you?’ and ‘Are you okay?’ which got to be way too much after a while. He ended up being the emotional one, not me!

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Whack it, Girl

My first time was definitely awkward. The guy I was with kept saying stuff like ‘How’s that for you, you dirty girl?’ and ‘Tell me how much you want me.’ He also dragged me into about 30 different positions. I felt like I was doing Pilates! When we were finished, I went to hug him but accidentally swung my hand out too fast and ended up whacking him really hard on the penis. I was embarrassed, and he was in pain. At least I can laugh about it now.

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Hottest Sex Ever? Not.

I was staying in a hotel with my girlfriend. The hotel was pretty nice, but the room I got had 2 double beds instead of a queen or king.

So we had just finished going down on each other, had a bunch of sexy foreplay, intense kissing, all that jazz. We are both about to explode from teasing and so I grab her by the hips and pull her into me. This is about to be the hottest sex ever. So I move up so we can start getting down. I put my arm out for balance and forgetting that I’m in a double size bed, my hand completely misses the bed. I go falling off into this chair, and at this point all she can see is my ass up in the air while I try to get up.

She literally laughed for 30 minutes, and we had to postpone sex for a couple hours because we would just start laughing hysterically any time we tried.

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Something Weird On My Ass

As a freshman in college, I decided to nurse the wounds of a bad breakup with a one-night stand. I should have run in the other direction when the guy told me he was working on his “memoirs” (he was 19), but I was pretty desperate. The sex itself was awkward, passionless, and boring, but the real treat came the next day. I arrived back to my dorm room in last night’s clothes, and as I was changing to head to the showers, my roommate noticed something weird on my ass. Turned out the guy had drawn on me while I was asleep…a sailboat, a cat, and a rocketship, all on my butt, all in highlighter.

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