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Category: Sex Stories

The Unholy French Kiss

When I was around 11 years old, I’ve been curious about how adults kiss on TVs and movies. A friend say that they kiss by slipping their tongue inside there mouth while they kiss. And I was kind of disgusted by it, but compelled to try. My mom was the type to kiss her kids on the lips while she put me and my little sis in bed, so when she tuck me in and kissed me, i slipped my tongue out, and my mom freaked out and pulled back. She said to me that I can’t do that, but in the next couple of nights, I would always stick out my tongue when she kissed me, and my mom always pulled away. Finally, when she kissed me again, I stick out my tongue into her mouth, and this time she didn’t pull away, she ACTUALLY moved her tongue and our tongue kinda played with each other for 5 seconds. My mom then blushed and told me not to tell anyone or else she would never do it again. I agreed, and for around 3 years, we have been french kissing ever since. Even as far as a 10 minute making out session in bed and even when we’re home alone together. It stopped, but I really missed those days.

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What’s that white sticky stuff?

I’d just started dating a girl. I’d been drinking and smoking, and I’d popped in a piece of gum so my breath wouldn’t stink when we made out. After some smooching, feeling up, and whatnot, I went down on her. Then we had sex. The next morning, when I was taking a shower, I noticed some white, sticky stuff on my cock. Not cum. It was thicker and tackier. I thought maybe it was some weird discharge from her. I cleaned it off, and then business as usual. After a few months of dating, she confessed to me that the day after our first encounter, she’d found the same thing in her pubic region. It was my gum. Apparently, when I was eating her out, the gum in my mouth got stuck in her pubes.

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That Awkward Moment When…

When I first started using a flogger on my partner, I accidentally whacked him across the face… Whoops. When we first tried using candle wax, I burned him. He has a little scar on his chest now. I feel so abusive. He laughs every time it’s brought up. Just about every experiment we’ve had together has been hilariously awkward.

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Who wants noodles?

So, I’m a guy. A female friend of mine came to visit me in the middle of the night with a girl she had recently met (and for added spice worked at a sex-hotline). They wanted to crash my place for a couple of hours to wait for their ride out of town. They had woken me up so I just sat on my bed chatting with them. My friend came to sit on the bed with me and, before long, there was touching. The other girl was using my computer at the time. Things got pretty heated and after a while the friend saw what was happening and came to join the fun. That’s when it turned bad. The thought that this fantasy of every guy might be coming true hit me like a ton of bricks and … I don’t know. I panicked.

I sat up and said: “I’m making noodles. Who wants noodles?” I jumped off the bed and walked straight to the kitchen, feeling their “What the SHIT!?” looks on my back. Then I just stood in the kitchen looking at nothing and ended up making noodles with added tears. They left soon after.

I still sob a little when I think about this.

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A Dirty Blowjob

I once fell down a hill, all because I was trying to give a blow job. This happened when I was in high school, blow jobs were about as far as I had gotten sexually, and I was REALLY awkward about anything sexual. Also, it was in a time before I had a car or a place of my own, so my boyfriend and I would go to the woods to hang out and fool around. Well, we were standing in the woods at the top of a small hill and I tried to kneel. I stumbled, and started somersaulting backwards down the hill. And he started chasing me with his pants around his ankles. By the time I got to the bottom, I was covered in dirt, twigs, and leaves. This did not help my sexual awkwardness. Not one bit.

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He Came In My Arms

In college we had a dorm meeting downstairs to introduce some new residents. This girl was a firecracker to say the least and after the meeting I knew she was going to fit in well with our group of friends so I invited her to play cards with a few folks. After a few rounds she suggested changing the game to strip poker, so we headed up to my room, which was the hangout room.

So, two ladies, myself and 3 other men (4 men, 2 ladies) headed up to our room to play strip poker. As soon as we landed on the beds, because there was no where else to sit, the cards were forgotten and a make out/clothes on orgy thing happened.

Imagine, if you will, a man(roommate) kneeling betwixt the legs of new girl eating her out while she was sitting between my legs with her back to me. I was fondling her and playing DJ for mood music. Another guy was sitting to my right and the last lady and and man were doing their thing to his right.

Now it’s important to note that the dude to my right was a HUGE asshole, but he was the first friend my roommate and I made at college so he still hung out with us.

So the asshole was sitting between the couple going at it and the weird 3 some thing going on when, as I would find out later, both the ladies who had a crush on him, simultaneously went to give him a handjob because they felt bad for him not getting any action.

One of the ladies won out and got to do the deed. As the jerk came it kind of quieted the room down as he was the only person to reach a climax. In his ecstasy he slumped to the side and sort of landed on me. It was an awkward position so I put my arm around him. As the room lay in quiet, everyone basking in our mutual afterglow I said in a clear voice, “I bet you never thought a man would be holding you while that happened eh?”

For the rest of my time at college whenever this douche started to get out of line I would just start to tell the story of how he came in my arms and all of a sudden, he wasn’t such a jerk anymore!

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Passed Out Sex

When I was about 22, I went out with a group of female friends and one other guy. The girls thought it would be a great idea to head to a lesbian bar which was notorious for giving shitty service to men and m/f couples.

After about an hour of mean looks and no drinks, I decide to bail and pick up a 12 pack on the way home. No sooner than I get home and crack open a beer, one of the girls calls me and says that another one of the girls was starting shit and that I needed to come pick her up.

I run and get her and we head back to my place where we proceed to get drunk and argue politics. After a while I decide that I’m tired and go to bed. She follows me in to my room and hops on my computer. After a few minutes of looking around, she finds my porn and starts watching it while I’m trying to pass out.

After about 10 minutes I pull her in to bed and we start going at it. The sex was amazing, but I passed out. I don’t know how long I was out, but when I came to, she was still riding me. When we finally finish she realizes it’s now daylight outside and bolts.

Fast forward to St. Patty’s Day a month later and we’re hammered at a bar and I start telling the story and I get to the point where I passed out. She apparently didn’t know this, freaks out and throws a gin and tonic in my face and leaves.

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Hot Habanero Sex

I made my girlfriend, at that time, dinner and it eventually lead to the bedroom. I started to play with her at first and she seemed to enjoy it, but after a couple seconds her face turned from pleasure to discomfort and then near horror. I had been cutting habaneros for dinner and totally forgot to wash my hands with soap. Needless to say I did NOT have sex that night.

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An Unforgettable Movie

I went the movies with my boyfriend at the time. Being the horny couple that we were, we both thought it would be super hot to get it on in the theater! We selected our seats carefully, so we could both have a good view of the film while keeping our eyes on the doors. It was one of the most unforgettably sexy experiences of my life. When it was all over, we sat and watched the rest of the film, but as the credits rolled, I went to gather my coat and scarf and noticed a couple was sitting behind us, a few rows up! They had a perfect view of our antics! Neither of us had seen them come in (like I said, it was pretty hot and heavy), but we were mortified and ran out, laughing hysterically.

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I Broke My Dick

I was having normal regular sex with my girlfriend of the time. Though I suppose she wasn’t exactly wet, neither was I. So we’re going at it and all of a sudden I feel a kind of pinch. Thought that was weird. Then liquid… so I asked her, do you feel something odd? She thought I came. I hadn’t yet, so far it had been really uncomfortable. So I pull out. All of a sudden blood is squirting from just under my penis, all over her cooch, stomach, bed etc. I jump up and the blood goes on her floor, chair, and myself. I freak the fuck out half yelling “WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!” She freaks out, eyes wide just in shock. I run to the bathroom and just stand in the bath clutching tissues to my penis waiting for the blood to stop. Eventually, I get flaccid and the blood flow stops. We immediately Google what the hell was going on. I’m clutching my dick through my shorts the entire time as we look for an answer to how this spontaneous satanic blood orgy started and if anyone else has had the same.

Turns out you can tear the webbing under your penis. The ‘frenulum’. Who knew! Couldn’t have sex for 2 weeks and then the next month after that I was too paranoid to do much anyway. Hilarious to look back on though. I broke my dick…

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Period Sex…Eww

My girlfriend wanted period sex. I was hesitant since I wasn’t too horned up, but she needed it bad evidently. So I caved. She got on top and started riding. It was literally less than a minute before she came. I didn’t finish. When she lifted off of me, I could sense my rig was soaked…but a different kind of soaked. Then I felt two heavy drips of fluid on my belly as she climbed off. The room was pretty dark so I walk to the bathroom. It was like a scene in a horror movie. My cock looked like it was used as a knife and my belly was dripping with blood. I had to hose down in the shower like a rape victim. My bedding was a mess too. I will NEVER do it during her period ever again. I don’t care how much she needs it. The bedding is in the washing machine now. Thank god for the steam cycle.

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Backseat Naked

Me and my boyfriend at the time parked his SUV in the back of our local movie theater parking lot. Seemed ideal, since no one would question a car being parked there for a while late at night. As we started getting busy in the back we noticed a car pull up and park a few spots away from us. We thought it was weird and just watched this car for a few minutes. At first no one got out, but after a bit a man stepped out of the car and started shining a flashlight in our direction, and it looked like he was holding a gun or a knife in the other hand. We ducked down to the floorboards, starting to panic. I started freaking out and scream-whispering at my boyfriend that we had to leave, but he didn’t have a shirt on and I was basically naked. As we contemplated how to get out of this situation, the man started slowly walking toward our car! At that point, I screamed, and my boyfriend jumped into the front seat, started the car, and sped out of the parking lot, leaving me literally rolling around on the floor of the backseat naked. After we drove a few miles away, we stopped and got dressed and shared some nervous laughter about the whole thing, and no harm was done other than a few bruises I sustained in our daring escape. I’m still good friends with this guy and we still laugh about the time we thought we were about to be the victims in a real-life slasher film.

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He Walked In And Took A Shit

I was hooking up with a football player in the bathroom of a usually desolated building. While I was going down on him, a guy walked in. I assumed he would pee and leave but nope, he didn’t. Instead, he went into the stall right next to us and took a shit. Then after he left, we started having doggy-style sex, and a guy walked in, stood in front of the mirror, and then left. He was looking at our reflection through the crack in the stall! We walked out smooth as ever.

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Cockblocked By Stoners

My boyfriend and I decided to have sex in college around the side of the building, where the stoners usually go. We were in the middle of having sex on a bench when these guys came toward us to smoke. They saw us mid-intercourse and didn’t turn around or anything, they just kept coming toward the spot. We were in doggy-style on the bench with pants around our ankles, so it was totally obvious what we were doing and that they saw us! Guess they really wanted to get high there. We didn’t even get to finish and got cockblocked by stoners.

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The Wrong Hole

My first boyfriend and I were both virgins. He was trying to use his finger down there and accidentally stuck it in the wrong hole. It lasted all of two seconds, but I lost it. I died laughing, and he was completely mortified. In fact, just remembering it right now has me cracking up

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My First Time…With You!

My boyfriend and I finally decided to do it after having multiple talks about making sure the first time would be special. Afterward, I mused ‘I can’t believe I’m not a virgin anymore,’ and he freaked out! Turns out, he thought we had been talking about having our first time together. He kept asking ‘Did I hurt you?’ and ‘Are you okay?’ which got to be way too much after a while. He ended up being the emotional one, not me!

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Whack it, Girl

My first time was definitely awkward. The guy I was with kept saying stuff like ‘How’s that for you, you dirty girl?’ and ‘Tell me how much you want me.’ He also dragged me into about 30 different positions. I felt like I was doing Pilates! When we were finished, I went to hug him but accidentally swung my hand out too fast and ended up whacking him really hard on the penis. I was embarrassed, and he was in pain. At least I can laugh about it now.

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Hottest Sex Ever? Not.

I was staying in a hotel with my girlfriend. The hotel was pretty nice, but the room I got had 2 double beds instead of a queen or king.

So we had just finished going down on each other, had a bunch of sexy foreplay, intense kissing, all that jazz. We are both about to explode from teasing and so I grab her by the hips and pull her into me. This is about to be the hottest sex ever. So I move up so we can start getting down. I put my arm out for balance and forgetting that I’m in a double size bed, my hand completely misses the bed. I go falling off into this chair, and at this point all she can see is my ass up in the air while I try to get up.

She literally laughed for 30 minutes, and we had to postpone sex for a couple hours because we would just start laughing hysterically any time we tried.

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Something Weird On My Ass

As a freshman in college, I decided to nurse the wounds of a bad breakup with a one-night stand. I should have run in the other direction when the guy told me he was working on his “memoirs” (he was 19), but I was pretty desperate. The sex itself was awkward, passionless, and boring, but the real treat came the next day. I arrived back to my dorm room in last night’s clothes, and as I was changing to head to the showers, my roommate noticed something weird on my ass. Turned out the guy had drawn on me while I was asleep…a sailboat, a cat, and a rocketship, all on my butt, all in highlighter.

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Bloody Penis

I was “manually prepping” him and thought it was weird that there was so much precum. Eventually, I flicked on the light to grab a condom and he said “Oh my god, you’re bleeding!” I started freaking out. How could this be?! I just got off my period. My hands, stomach and thighs were COVERED in blood…but my nether region was clear. Then, I look over and I see blood literally GUSHING out of the head of his dick. I was so freaked out I just yelled “YOUR DICK IS BLEEDING” and ran out of the room….

He was more mortified than I was…if possible. He told me about a month ago, he was really wasted and zipped the head of his penis in his pants. Being super drunk, he couldn’t dislodge it, so forced the zipper down/yanked his dick out. He then passed out to later find himself on a blood soaked mattress. The doctor told him he needed stitched to close it back up, but didn’t do it…leaving both his penis and me scarred for life.

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A Sweaty Strange Threesome

I had finally agreed to a threesome with the man I had been involved in a Dominant/submissive friends-with-benefits situation for the last four months. Since this was largely my fantasy that he had wanted to fulfill, it was going to be a male-male-female threesome. I was nervous, to say the least. He had agreed to write up an ad for Craigslist, let me review it before posting, and screen all the responses…We finally settled on one-not my first choice, or even my second, but he actually followed through.

….I knew that if I could see what was going on, I wouldn’t go through with it, so we agreed that I would be blindfolded and he would take care of me, gauging the situation and making sure the Guest didn’t overstep my limits.

I was kneeling, blindfolded, in the middle of the living room, when the doorbell rang… It didn’t take long before Guest was naked and in my mouth. Nor did it take long after we rolled around a little bit and had changed positions that I started feeling little “feather brushes” against my arms. For the life of me, I could not figure out what the feeling was-they were without pattern but distinct and localized sensations against my skin. It wasn’t until I started feeling them on my face as I was essentially tea-bagging him that I realized that HE WAS SWEATING ON ME. The Guest, this man I had just “met” in the loosest of terms, wasn’t simply sweaty, he was sweating large, gross, hairy man sweat droplets all over my face and torso.

That should have been my clue to stop, but I’m a trooper and a bit loathe to cause a scene. Besides, my Man was there, I knew I was safe, and he and I were having fun.

Fast forward to the end of the afternoon. I’m on the floor on my back after my Man and I finished fucking, kind of spent from all the activities, but still blindfolded. I can feel the Guest’s hands on me, and he asks if he can get me off again. Not one to say no to an orgasm, he starts attending to me digitally. But then the sensation changes-it feels as if he’s trying to fist me, but with his palm or something. The feeling is off…and then it hits me: The Guest is an amputee and is TRYING TO FIST ME WITH HIS STUMP! I don’t go for fisting to begin with, but trying to fit his stump in my vagina was just never going to happen, so I stop the scene, he leaves, and I go to the bathroom to clean up.

When I come out, I turn to my Man and ask, “What he missing a hand?”

“Yes he was. I didn’t think it would be polite to turn him away just because of it though.”

“That’s true, but Stumpy tried to fist me with his stump! Without asking! Had he tried to fist me, that would have been bad enough, but stumping without permission is just poor form.”

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Just Flop It Inside Me

The fact that he was a grown man who still called himself Timmy should have tipped me off that this wasn’t going to be the most satisfying experience. So Timmy was a fairly sweet, if dim guy and before we had sex he told me he’d had sex with a few girls, but only one time each and he didn’t know why. I was all, “That’s so weird! You’re totally cute, let’s have sex twice today.”

Half an hour into fooling around, I figured it out. Not only did he not get hard at all, it seems that no one had ever told him that you need to in fact be erect before trying to penetrate a woman. He kept holding his tiny, limp dick and trying to kind of…just…flop it inside of me, I guess. I tried my very best to, um, rectify the situation and get things really going, but he kept saying, “What’s wrong? Why won’t you just put it inside you?” So I just sort of…shoved his flaccid penis inside of me and he started to moan like it was feeling really good for him. Then it promptly just fell out.

I remember how sad and floppy it looked lying against his leg and then how pitiful the whole effort was as he started to rock against me, gently thwacking his droopy, listless penis between my legs as though I must be the luckiest girl in the world. Needless to say, we did not have sex more than the one time. I wonder if he has since broken that streak.

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Champagne Bottle In My Ass

A few years ago, my French bf-at-the-time took me to Paris to meet his family….His mother, a haughty Parisienne who believes that her only son is GOD, and that no girl could possibly be classy enough to deserve him. Their regard is mutual – he worships her as much as she worships him.

One evening after a champagne-soaked dinner, she left to go to the theater. Expecting that she’d be gone for several hours, we started having regular sex, and then anal sex, on a couch adjacent to the table at which we’d had dinner. Things kept getting hotter, and my b.f. started f*cking my ass with the slim end of a champagne bottle. This felt good at first… but then I realized that something felt off. I slowed him down in an attempt to understand what on Earth my body was doing, and I realized that my bowels were moving. And I kind of realized that it was too late to stop what was happening.

At this already Godforsaken moment, we hear a key in the door and his mother pops into the room. The bitch had forgotten her shawl or something. So there I am, naked, on her couch, while her son, also naked, is holding a champagne bottle that is obviously deeply embedded in my ass. We shriek, and he yanks out the bottle. And immediately out comes a LARGE, dark brown, smelly piece of poop. It just rolls out – this felt like it was happening in slow motion, and I kept trying to stop it but I couldn’t – and lands on her couch.

The French boy and I broke up shortly thereafter. I dumped him – pun intended.

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Help Me, My Head is Stuck

It was the first time I had sex with this guy, and he was hitting it from behind on his big brass bed. At one point, I was getting tired, so I went to turn my head to make eye contact (I had read that that made guys crazy) and I realized that my head was stuck between the brass posts. I was like a kid in a banister, and kept imagining firemen having to save me. My date sure couldn’t save me – he, in fact, laughed so hard that he peed on the floor.

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So Warm and Wet

I was fifteen. My first boyfriend had talked me into giving him a blowjob, his and my first one. After some hesitation, I began and everything seemed to be going as he described it would be. Half way through, I noticed my chest felt really warm and wet. I looked down and to my horror, there was an indescribable amount of diarrhea covering my white shirt. To this day, I’m not sure what happened. Of course the real fun part was when I had to left my t-shirt over my head to get it off.

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