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That Wet Ferret

I dated a guy who owned a pet ferret. He liked to let her out of her cage so she could get some exercise when he was home. One night he had let her out and while we were having sex, I suddenly feel this cold, wet nose on my thigh. Guess she had gotten a little jealous that her man liked me more than her and wanted in on the fun. He was so embarrassed, poor guy.

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Where’s the condom?

I have the tendency to squeeze my pelvic muscles (really hard) during sex and the guys really like that. I must’ve squeezed way too hard, because the condom stuck to me as he was thrusting in and out. After we were done, he pulled out, and there was no condom on his dick…

We freaked out for a sec, and I was like ‘Are you SURE you put one on?!?!’ and then I realized (lol) and dug my fingers in…really deep too…and pulled it out.

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Sexy Juices

I had just had some truly awesome sex with my high school boyfriend (after high school, summer after my freshman year of college) in his basement. We were naked and panting, literally just finished. Suddenly the door opens, and in the .75 seconds it takes for a person to get from the doorway to being able to see the couch:

He shoves his pants under the couch and grabs a sleeping bag and pulls it over himself to pretend he is asleep. I shove my bra and shirt into the couch and pray the rest of my clothing is out of view, and leap across the room behind a large armchair.

His brother comes down, does a load of laundry, and goes back upstairs. It takes about six minutes, an endless eternity where I am buck-naked behind an armchair, praying it isn’t his mother and that whoever it is won’t try to move about the basement because ‘behind a chair’ is a toddler-level hiding place at best.

And! To make things even better, I was on birth control, so we weren’t using condoms — so I’m clutching my lady parts trying to keep from dripping our sexy juices all over the carpet, because they have a black goddamned carpet, optimum for displaying sexy stains!

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Sexual Seduction Suction

My boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was on top of me. He leaned down, so our stomachs were touching. Somehow, the suction between our stomachs created this loud, embarrassing farting sound.

We’ve been together almost three years, so we just had a really good laugh and went back to the sex.

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What’s that smell?

This happened back when my husband and I were first dating. He was spending the night, maybe for the third or fourth time. I woke up from some unsettling dreams and rolled over to cuddle with him.’I had a bad dream,’ I say to him. He rubs my arm a bit and sleepily says, ‘Oh yeah? I’m sorry.’

“You know what makes it better?’ I ask him. ‘Hmmmm?’ I squeeze him a bit tighter and rip a giant fart. I’ve always had problems with that filter that normal people have, that filter that keeps them from doing the things their cave-dwelling ancestors did with impunity. I didn’t think; I just did it. Then I’m mortified!

Suddenly I’m completely awake and aware of the fact that this guy I’ve only been dating for a short time but am really falling for is lying next to me in silence because instead of saying something like, ‘The thing that makes it better is waking up next to you’ I just squeezed him and farted. So much for being ladylike. So mortified.

Then I realized that he’s silent, but that’s because he is laughing so hard. He loved it. I was so relieved. And now, five years later, he’s still putting up with my crude and uncouth behaviors.

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What a Bloody Mess

I lost my virginity to a guy who wasn’t circumcised. Not a big deal, but he was a virgin too. A couple minutes in, he thrusted a little hard, and it forced his foreskin back, ripping it from the base of the head back. It started bleeding profusely.

“He ended up having to go to the hospital and getting five or six stitches in his dick, which resulted in an inch-long scar. They say you never forget your first time…and he sure as fuck never will.

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Roll Over Boning

One time during sex, my S.O. and I tried to do the ‘roll over while still boning’ thing to switch positions from girl on top to missionary. We both went for it, but somehow we tried to roll opposite ways, and his rolling managed to send me flying completely off the bed, caught air and everything. There was about a three-second silence before we both just broke down laughing.

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How to Find a Sex Partner Near Me

A lot of guys think that finding a sex partner or fuck buddy online is the easiest thing in the world. After all, they have seen all sorts of stereotypes on TV and the movies regarding the “little black book”. Well, I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, but there’s a big difference between a little black book and finding a fuckbuddy online . I would even venture to argue that there are so completely different that they really don’t deserve to be put next to each other.

A little black book really is just a list of easy pussy. That’s what it is. I mean any guy who has any decent level of game would have a short list of women he’s either fucked in the past or who has given clear indications that she wants to fuck him. Anybody can get that going. Even if you have a hunched back and your face looks like a fucked up pizza, if you have enough self-confidence and you really can focus on a goal you can get laid. So anybody can put together a little black book. It’s like a list of easy pussy. You just open the book, call the chick, lay down some bullshit and get down to business.

An adult friends list, sex partner list, fuckbuddy list or whatever you want to call it, on the other hand, is very different. It’s, first and foremost, a list of friends. These are friends that you can hang out with. These are friends you can call over for drinks. These are friends who can call you if you’re feeling down or who you can call to consult. In other words, they are friends first. What confuses many guys is that there is a sexual element. But I’m telling you right now, the older you get and also the more emotionally mature you become, the sexual action part becomes less and less important. You cherish the friendship more strongly overtime. Unless you specifically go for fuckbuddy sites like https://www.findafuckbuddy.net/

This happens naturally because your priorities change overtime. You’re becoming an older person, you’re becoming a more mature person. Things that used to get your dick hard no longer does. In fact, many of them just makes you laugh nowadays. It doesn’t mean that you’re getting weaker. It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your sex drive. It just means that your priorities have changed and the great thing about an adult friends list is that these people change with you. So these women that used to be hot, young, college-aged vixens they turn into older, mature moms who are very loving, gentle and can give a great blowjob if you’re both in the mood. Do you see where I’m coming from? So you need to treat your adult friends list with a high degree of sensitivity and focus primarily on the friendship element.

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Double Birds

My girlfriend lives in Brooklyn but was raised in New Jersey. While having sex, we could hear a few people out on the street talking about their apartments and rent (her room is about half a level above the street, so no one could see in the windows). At some point one of the men in the conversation said ‘I’ve only been to New Jersey twice and that was two times too many.’ My girlfriend, while on top, turned towards the window and silently gave the man the double bird, then continued on.

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Watch Kim Kardashian and Ray J Sex Tape Online

Have you ever heard your friends talking on how to watch Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape online? If yes, then, you may be interested to know about it. Kim Kardashian is a famous American fashion designer, television personality, actress and a model. She got the attention of the public not only because of her superb skills. She also made a celebrity gossip favorite because of her sex videos. She had sex tape with her ex-boyfriend named Ray J. Like her, Ray is also an actor. This guy is also known as a professional singer and record producer.

If you are interested on how to watch Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape, you need to start conducting an extensive research. Through online searching, you have a chance to get the full sex videos of the two showbiz personalities.

However, not all of you are familiar on how to get a KimK sex tape deal. Instead of worrying about this issue, take time to search for the best website. To guarantee that you are getting the best sex tape, here are things you need to consider:

  • Features of the Sex Tape – Unlike others, you have to be more conscious with the exact and accurate features of sex tape. Through this, you can watch Kim Kardashian video without experiencing any trouble. Some tapes have blurred images while others are not.
  • Cost of Sex Tape – Even if you want to watch the full video, it doesn’t mean that you will spend more money to get its original copy. There are several shops that offer similar products at affordable rates. You just need to check if they have upcoming sales or other promotions.
  • Length of the Sex Tape – The sex video of Kim and Ray J is quite lengthy. Therefore, you have to check if your preferred tape has full length or not. To check its length, you need to play the sex tape before buying it.

After knowing these tips on the tape, you can easily get a copy of the sex tape. Depending on your choice, you can watch it alone or along with your friends and co-workers.

If you are eager to watch Kim Kardashian and Ray J sex tape, you need to prepare enough cash. This sex tape has a varying price. But, you can save more money if you know where to find the best shop that offers discount rates.

After getting a copy of this sex tape, you are free to watch it anytime you want. You can watch Kim Kardashian Superstar online to learn the different sex styles. Other viewers, on the other hand, prefer to watch this sex tape because they really love Kim. They want to know how she moves and how great her body is.

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Sexual Carnival Games

I was having sex with my girlfriend, doggy-style, and pulled out. There was a plastic ring around my cock. She said it was her birth control thingy. I felt like I had won a carnival game.

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Let me eat your hand

A few years ago I was having sex with my then-girlfriend. She was being rather noisy, and her roommates were home, so I told her to just bite my hand. She bit it. I ended up with six stitches.

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